Author and creator of The Four Man Plan, Cindy Lu
If the perfect relationship keeps eluding you, change your dating technique and bring in the New Year with The Four Man Plan.
After years of dating ‘Mr Wrongs’, Cindy Lu, author and creator of the Four Man Plan decided to change her dating technique.
She devised the Four Man Plan which as the name suggests, involves dating several men at the same time with total honesty, but sleeping with none of them. You keep track of your potential suitors and wait until the one you want asks you for exclusivity.
With her honesty, frankness, humour and sound advice, her book is a must-read for any single woman looking for her ideal man.
We spoke to Cindy to find out more about The Four Man Plan and how it works.
“My ultimate wish for any girl who does the Four Man Plan is that she ends her run on the gerbil wheel of love,” she says. “By the end of it you will have gained a deeper understanding about how much power you have within relationships, and changed how you perceive men and dating.”
Read on to find out how The Four Man Plan could help you find your ‘other half’ in 2010.
Change Your Dating Perspective
“The Four Man Plan will change how you think about dating and love,” explains Cindy.
“It turns dating into a soul searching pleasure because it takes the focus away from finding a lifelong partner to deciding what it is you really want. Finding a man isn’t going to make you happy. Falling in love with yourself, being your own best date and your most natural self in every situation, regardless of the man sitting across from you at the dinner table, is what women really seek.”
Brings Out The Chivalrous Side Of Your Men
“Once men know this is what you’re doing, they start competing for your affections and become more chivalrous,” explains Cindy.
“It’s only in recent decades that men haven’t needed to compete for a woman’s affections. Remember Guinevere? Dance cards? Courtship? Somewhere in their DNA it comes naturally to them, the way that having many suitors eventually becomes natural to the Four Man Planner!”
“If they aren’t interested, they will disappear without any drama, and if they are, they will need to ask for exclusivity rather than assume it. For a lot of Four Man Planner’s learning how to “halve” a man, as we call it, which is the simple act of telling a man that you are “dating”, is the hardest part at first. But you’ll be surprised at the positive reactions you get. The earlier it is done, the better because honesty takes the guesswork out of dating.”
Keep your Knickers On!
“Not sleeping with men has the added benefit of keeping them interested,” she says.
“But the honesty part of The Four Man Plan is a “do unto others” sort of thing. Wouldn’t we all have a better time of it if the men that we have dated in the past could’ve just been honest from the get go?”
“Another important reason, as the Wait for Sex Index in the book posits: “For the life of a relationship, a man is only as nice to you as he needs to be, in order to get you into bed the first time.” The other critical factor is The Rule of Chuck. If it’s a relationship you are looking for, a good man will lose interest in you if he finds out you are rolling around with a lot of men.”
Multiple Men Stops You Husband Hunting!
“The Four Man Plan really helps with the notion of “staying in the moment.” By not sizing up every man as a life partner, but simply a companion for the evening, things open up, you are both more relaxed and less critical,” says Cindy.
“Besides, men are sort of put off by the husband test. By working on yourself, your ability to be happy and have fun, you become a much more appealing life partner. Joyful, loving people attract the same, whether it be for one beer or a lifetime. But becoming that woman takes practice, and The Four Man Plan gives you the arena and creates the circumstances to practice a lot over a short period of time.”
“These days, in the world of internet dating, it’s almost assumed that all parties are “shopping.” But serial monogamy, indiscriminate sex and obsessive husband hunting has gotten more and more common, so it’s important to let your men know that you aren’t that kind of girl!”
The Man Who Triumphs Has To Ask You For Exclusivity
This is where making sure all the men know you are dating others becomes critical. As Four Man Planners we wait for the man to initiate “The Talk” while giving him all the confidence and information he needs to do so. What each woman has to ask herself is; “Does three or four dates give me enough information to become attached and exclude other options?”
Generally, Four Man Planners develop favourites. They pin their hopes on one special guy, but you would be surprised how often the favourite is not the one.
If the one you want is not ready to ask you to stop dating others, then keep dating him and the others too. The cream will soon rise to the top and the inevitable comes much more quickly than if you just focused on him alone.
After all, if he was ready and he knew you were seeing other people, he would have to tell you he wanted you all to himself, which is a magical moment that is not to be missed! If you are focused on just dating him and he knows it, what would prompt him to declare his feelings, and how would he even know he had them?
“Assuming” that you are in a relationship is what I believe to be the death of romance and the beginning of a poorly negotiated situation. So keep dating other men until the one you want sits you down and asks that it’s just the two of you.”
You can buy The Four Man Plan from all good book shops for £7.99, or from Amazon for £5.11. You can also find out more at www.thefourmanplan.com and chat to other Four Man Planners on the forums there.
If you decide to try the Four Man Plan, we’d love to hear from you! Get in touch by leaving a comment below.
Tags: Dating Advice